Monday, August 04, 2014

Hat Juggling 101:The Master Hat Juggler Gives a Demo [Being a Proverbs 31 Woman]

[Lesson 8 in a series on juggling roles, relationships and responsibilities.]

An excellent wife, who can find?   For her worth is far above jewels.NAS
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.NIV   - Proverbs 31:10  

We have a love-hate reaction to the Proverb 31 woman. We would really love to be that kind of woman and wife. Yet, the way it reads, it seems to set an unachievable standard. We hate how inadequate we feel when we compare ourselves to this master hat juggler. Take heart! It really isn’t that farfetched. As we look closer at what all she is actually doing, we will discover it truly is possible.  We too can be an incredible woman, a wife who “is worth far more than rubies,” a master hat juggler.

I will begin by giving away her most important secret: She keeps her priorities in order.  By keeping them in order I mean she knows what is most important.  This does not necessarily mean the order in which things are done.  Keeping priorities in order more often then not means taking care of the less important things so you can give full and quality attention to higher priorities. 

One of the first things we need to notice is that her relationship with God is not mentioned. That is because in the context of Proverbs it is a given.  God is not meant to be a priority. He is meant to be our life. Acts 17:28NIV says “For in Him we live and move and have our being.” Galatians 2:20NIV states, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Jesus and His Lordship is to be our life.  All our priorities fit with in our partnership with Him. Think of it like a shopping cart.  Your priorities are individually bagged, but unless they are placed within the sufficiency of His grace, you cannot carry them all. We cannot even attempt to be a Proverbs 31 woman without Him.

Priority #1:   Her husband
                                                                                   
11-12 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.NAS
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life NIV

The issue of trust cannot be understated. Respect (assigned value) is required. Trust, on the other hand, is earned and preserved. A godly wife earns her husband’s total trust in all areas of their marriage.  Because of her trustworthiness, a godly wife is a plus to him emotionally, spiritually, materially, financially, and socially.   She is an asset not a debit to him. She adds to what he lacks. Multiplies what he is, has and does.

In the King James Version of the Bible, the second part of this verse actually refers to the fact that because of her, her husband had “no need of spoil.  This referred to men having to join war parties in order to obtain spoils of war simply to add to their earnings to meet obligations or needs. In other words, the husband of a godly wife does not have to get a second job just to support her whims, excesses or wastefulness that puts extra demands on the family income.  This is not referring to those times when expenses exceed a single income and require a second source of revenue, whether it be a second job or both working. It does refer to a need brought on by extravegance or carelessness. 

Making him priority #1 means he matters! A godly wife is consistently good to her husband and for him, regardless of present situation or demands. She is constantly striving to enhance, extend and enable him to be all God desires and designed. All her words, actions and attitudes, convey how important he truly is to her.

Priority #2:   Present needs of family & household                           

13 She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. NAS
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.NIV

This excellent woman shopped wisely for materials for family clothing and furnishings. Wool was used for winter; flax was used for summer.   She wisely selects appropriate clothing for the weather, as well as for the home so that it is functional and energy efficient.  This is not saying that a godly woman has to sew or wear homespun clothing. In 1000BC, this meant working with her hands to turn “raw” materials into useful items. She didn’t have a choice. We do. The point here is being practical, appropriate and creatively involved in making sure the family has what is needed.

Don’t miss her enjoyment in being creative. Being creative is one of the wonderful ways we have been made in God’s image.  Creativity adds a personal touch that expresses love. However, creativity does require extra effort. That creativity shows up in the everyday aspects of life, including what is served at meals.

14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.NIV

In Biblical times, there wasn’t a Walmart or local grocery store with aisles and aisles to choose from.  The majority of her food came out of the garden in the backyard.  If she wanted or needed anything she could not grow or make, especially imported items such as spices, she literally had to barter home produced items for items she needed.  Today applying this particular verse means going to different stores and taking advantage of sales, couponing, farmer’s market, etc. to add variety to the menu. 

15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. NIV

Unfortunately, this one is what it sounds like.  It is necessary to get up before everyone else.  This gives you a chance to commit your day to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and prayerfully organizes your day and that of the household.  It also gives you a running start in meeting your family’s needs, beginning with preparing a good healthy breakfast. If you have small children, it may be the only time to call your own all day long. Since a Mom sets the tone of the home, having a few minutes to yourself in the morning gives you a chance to make any necessary attitude adjustment before damage can be inflicted.

Don’t be in too big a hurry to skip over the last part of verse 15. In a few words, it makes a powerful point: a godly woman has a servant’s heart.  This woman was a woman of some means and had several servants, but instead of laying back and being served, she fed them and delegated their duties.  In our lifetime, we will most likely never have “servants,”  but we do have children.  In this verse, we find that this woman of excellence took the time and effort to give “portions to her servant girls” - lay out their day’s responsibility and make sure they had everything they needed to do what was expected of them.  “He who fails to plan, plans to fail” really goes with housework and the demanding schedule children have these days.  If you do not figure out what works for your family, you will end up stressed out and carrying the whole load.  The work of the home is a team effort that requires a quarterback. Either extreme of your doing it all or depending on others to do it is detrimental to the family’s well-being.

16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. NIV

Assessing the family requirements, she determined that there was a need to increase the family’s garden (the primary source of food) and apparently there was no more room in the backyard. So, she sought out the right property and purchased it.   Since not all areas were suitable for planting. Finding a good field required a technical knowledge of soil and location, as well as investment knowledge to know if it was a good buy.  

This woman of excellence never let “being a woman” justify ignorance.  If she needs to know something to make wise decisions for her family, she makes the effort to learn.  Today this may mean becoming computer savy, get a firm understanding on retirement plans, investment opportunities, etc..  It may mean researching better gardening techniques, or learning how to sew.  There is no limit on what we can learn if we have a teachable spirit.

She invests her time, her labor, and her own money to plant the family  “cash” crop.  A godly woman invests her resources into her family.  Sometimes our resources are not financial, but time, skill, gifts and talents. These are to be used for the benefit of the family, not just for our own pleasure.

17a She sets about her work vigorously; NIV

She is a woman of labor not leisure.  If we are realistic, neither are we.  She was completely involved in all aspects of her household, not just housework.  Her effort and enthusiasm about what she does is described as “vigorous” – more inspiration, than perspiration.  There is a passion in what she does.  We do the same when we put our heart into what we do and make what we do an expression of love.

Priority #3:   Physical self 
                                                                       
17b...  her arms are strong for her tasks.NIV
17 She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. NAS

A woman of excellence makes an effort to take care of herself, increasing and maintaining her physical strength and health with exercise and healthy eating.  I confess this is one priority I prefer to just eliminate from the list, but the reality is that a family with a sick or weak mom is definitely handicapped. Doing everything possible to be healthy is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family and your God.  A well-balanced understanding regarding what it means to “love yourself” is required. You have to love and care for yourself if you are going to fully love and care for others.

Priority #4:   Community
                                                                                   
18a She sees that her trading is profitable, NIV
She senses that her gain is good; NAS

We see words like “profitable” and “gain” and it is easy to deduce this means what she gets out of it. There is slight element to this, but actually the flow is outward not inward.  A godly woman has a sense of pride in what she had to offer others. If she is going to trade her produce, products, time and effort, she makes sure what she is offering is the best.

Partnering with God in what you do for others enables you to extend grace and be gracious in all you do.

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17 NAS

The word translated “evil” is ponoros, the adjective form of ponos, which means “that which demands furll strength.” “The days are demanding.” Being gracious and wise requires discerning God’s will for your day, your situation, your life. Then when you says “Yes,” you will find what you do is energizing rather than draining.  By keeping our priorities in order, we are able to give  and do our best for the good of others, without sacrificing our families or selves in the process.  You will be able to do it with excellence as to the Lord who is worthy of nothing less. In God’s wonderful circle of grace, being graciously involved in our community, church, neighborhood and schools will always flow back in blessing our families. 

18b Her lamp does not go out at night. NAS

No, this does not mean that she was a superwoman who never goes to bed.  In Ancient East, a lamp left burning in the home of citizens of means signified their availability – a sign of hospitality and a haven for the distressed. In the dark or a storm, it was a beacon of hope, safety and maybe even salvation.  Have you ever heard the phrase “I’ll keep the porch light on?”  This is that same sense of welcome and availability. The lamp also signified prosperity - the means to help the needy.   In desperate times it was where they could go and know they would be helped. When others know you are there for them, if and when they needed you, then your lamp does not go out either. 

19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. NIV

This one needs a little explaining as its meaning gets lost in our modern world. The distaff and spindle was used to spin yarn and weave the heavy-duty, courser, material used for clothing the poor. It assured that what they were given was useful and would sustain them through the difficult time. This took more work than passing on worn “hand-me-downs.”    In her reaching out to others less fortunate than herself, a godly woman gives generously and from a standard of quality.  Their needs, not her convenience, is prioritized.

20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. NIV

This simply means, she responds to calls for help and she offers and seeks out opportunities to serve.

Priority #5:   Future needs of family and household
                       
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.NIV  

In Israel, severe winter storms arrived quickly and unannounced and being unprepared could be more than inconvenient, it could be life threatening.  A godly woman is prepared for unexpected hard times, thus eliminating many unnecessary fear and anxiety. “Scarlet” referred to a material known for its warmth and luxuriousness.  This meant she was prepared for the expected as well as the unexpected, especially the coming of winter. Since she knows winter is coming, she plans ahead for her family needs. The proper clothes is in the closet for when they needed it. She isn’t caught with sudden plummeting temperatures in the fall to find last years winter coat was two sizes too small.   Does she ever get caught off guard? Of course! Being prepared for the expected allows us to roll with the unexpected.

Priority #6:   Public Image           
                                               
22She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. NAS
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. NIV

Fine tapestry was used for bed covers, rugs, wall hangings, room dividers and doors.  For the most part in Solomon’s day these had to be made.  Thus she sewed for herself and home using the finest material available. A godly woman takes pride and effort in how she dresses and how her home is furnished because it reflects on her personally and on her family.  Again sewing is not the issue here, but the balanced pride and effort that goes into appearances.  The important thing here is the order in which this falls in the priority list.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.NIV

Her home and how she looks and acts directly reflects on her husband.  This godly wife’s husband held a place of leadership in his town (remember we are referring to advice being given to the future King of Israel).  The point is, wherever the husband works or does away from her, the godly wife has a positive impact on him. “Isn’t that _______’s wife” was never said in a derogative fashion.  Actually he may even have been known as ________’s husband!   A godly wife makes sure that is always a good thing to say.

24She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. NIV

In this particular example of a godly woman, she had her own position and reputation in the town as a businesswoman. She sold beautifully hand-made linen garments and elaborately embroidered belts. Her merchandise was of such quality it was not only sold locally but on the export market as well.  Whether she works full-time, part-time or volunteered, a godly woman offers her very best, thus, what she has to offer will be desired and appreciated because of its quality.  It may be only time, a listening ear, or a helping hand you have to give, but when you do give your best.

25-26 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.  She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. NAS

Her outstanding feature is not her physical appearance, but the self-confidence and high self-esteem she possesses.  A godly woman is not known as a worrier, but one who joyfully looks forward to tomorrow’s challenges.  She also knows the power of a good sense of humor. She displays great wisdom in what she says and when she speaks.  Her words are characterized by thoughtfulness and kindness, not domineering or offensive.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. NIV

This woman knows how to mind her own business at all times. When priorities are correctly aligned and a godly woman is doing all God wants her to do, it has her full attention.  Gossip, busy-bodiness, and ungodly distractions are not a problem.  She is never lazy or fills her time with frivolous nothingness.  This does not mean she does not take a break or enjoy some time off.  Laziness is a characteristic of apathy and self-absorption.  Since a godly woman gives herself to the Lord and pursues her passions accordingly, these characteristics are foreign to her nature.

What is the result of having all her priorities in order?

27-29 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." NIV

Her children think she is the greatest and make sure everyone knows it.  Her husband has the highest praise for her and declares publicly “She is the best!”  What more could any woman ask for?  Any and all sacrifices that result in such an honor are truly worth any effort.

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.NIV

However, even more wonderful then being praised by your husband and children, is the result that you will be praised by the Lord.  Proper priorities are a direct result of a right relationship with the Lord. “Fear of the Lord” is responding with respect and obedience to God’s rightful place of authority and power over your life.  When we praise God and bless Him consistently with our thoughts, words, and actions, He in turn praises and blesses us.

31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. NIV

Finally, she is also respected and praised by her peers and fellow man.

God wants each of us to be a Proverb 31 woman juggling with grace all the roles, responsibilities and relationships He give us.  We are given a model to follow.  We are also told how:

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13NIV

It is overwhelming at times, but His grace, His strength, His provisions, His wisdom, and His companionship is always there for us.  He wants all of us to get straight A’s in Hat Juggling 101.