It is overwhelming how much hatred fills the news
lately, as well as the sheer amount of hateful comments infiltrating the pages
of social media. Strong feelings and
stronger opinions justify comments and behavioral choices. Christ followers are
not immune. Justified hate is a VERY
complicated and confusing subject. A big part of the confusion is defining what
hate truly entails, identifying when it is right and godly (and yes, there is
such a thing as godly hate) and when it is wrong, as well as recognizing the
difference between hate and hatred, which is always wrong.
The common understanding is that hate is the polar
opposite or absence of love. We
associate love with positive, warm and fuzzy feelings. Hate on the other hand is
linked to the negative, the cold and hard. Both love and hate do have
corresponding feelings – strong ones at that, but for the most part they are
actually attitudes and mindsets. This is most evident in the two words
translated love and hate in the New Testament:
agape, which is choosing to
love, to care and prioritize something for the benefit of someone; and mizeo, which is choosing to hate or
de-prioritize something for the benefit of someone. Both are choices. When we
looked at verses like Luke 14:26 and John 12:25, we discovered choosing to
prioritize or de-prioritize something for the benefit of someone involves
choosing choice over feelings which naturally seem to choose us.
If anyone comes to me and does not hate
his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes,
even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:26 NIV
He who loves his life loses it, and he
who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. John 12:25
This does not mean we don’t love family, friends, even
our lives – we couldn’t if we tried. Loving them is right and natural. It does mean choosing to prioritize and care
about God more.
Key to this issue of love and hate is who is the one
whose benefit matters most.
The opposite or absence of love is apathy and
indifference. We don’t care. It doesn’t
matter if he, she or me benefits in this situation or overall. Apathy is the catalyst to neglect. When it comes to being apathetic towards God,
others and/or self, it is never godly. We
are never told to feel something, including love. We are told to choose to
care, regardless how we feel.
Neither love nor hate can exist without caring. Actually, hate cannot exist without
love. Hate takes love to the
extreme. It is more about what or who is
loved than what isn’t. It is the extreme response to believing what we love
most is vulnerable to being harmed. Our natural, God-given response to
something endangering what we love is anger.
It is an anger that flows out of truly caring and keeps us from being
apathetic or indifferent. Hate goes beyond emotion to making specific choices
regarding what we believe hurt what we love most, what matters most, what is
our foremost priority. As stated
earlier, hate is not an emotion, but a choice.
When it comes to hate, the first thing we need to do
is identify what we love most. The
question we need to ask is: What do I love so much that I respond so
strongly? The second question is: Does
what I hate align with what God hates?
Most people do not associate hate with God. Actually, those who do seem to have a very
off balance, unscriptural understanding of God (and of hate for that
matter). God is love. It is confusing
how One who is absolutely love can hate anything. Yet, there are very specific Scriptures where
God says, “I hate these things.” Thus,
the question we need to ask ourselves, we also need to ask of God: What/who
does God love so much that He responds so strongly? The answer is: above all
else, God loves people – ALL people. Everything God does and says flows
out of His defining love for us. That
includes what He hates. Actually, it
defines what He hates. God hates what He
knows hurts people, what makes us vulnerable, and endangers our hearts, minds
and souls.
Let’s look at a few of the passages where God lays out
what He hates and assess how these hurt those He loves.
There are six things the
LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands
that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are
quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up of dissension among
brothers. Proverbs 6:16,17 NIV
·
Haughty eyes - This arrogant look says “you are less than …” It demeans
not just the one to whom the look is intended, but the one making it. We are
all hurt by inequality and lack of unity.
·
A lying tongue - When
we lie, it hurts the one we lie to. When we lie, it hurts us as we are no
longer trustworthy or believable.
·
Hands that shed innocent blood - Obviously it hurts the one injured, but it also hurts the
aggressor. When we lose the value of life, it impacts the value we place on our
own.
·
A heart that devises wicked schemes - Believing we profit in any way from wickedness is
incredibly deceiving. God knows the hidden dangers of acting in cahoots with
the fallen one. Lured by power, excitement and the forbidden, control is lost
not gained.
·
Feet that are quick to rush into evil - Satan is the master deceiver. Look good, feel good and
make good are the beautifully decorated doors to what cannot only hurt but
destroy. Thoughtlessly we run right into the deception.
·
A false witness who pours out lies - Justice depends on truth.
Not just individuals but society itself is hurt by cover-ups and
manipulations – actually any lie spoken out of a self-serving agenda.
·
Stirring up of dissension among brothers - We need each other. As mentioned earlier, we all are hurt
by lack of unity. Dissension may empower, but it also isolates.
These are the things you are
to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in
your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear
falsely. “I hate all this,” declares the LORD.
Zechariah 8:16,17 NIV
·
Plot evil against your neighbor - “Plot” is intentional.
It is figuring out how “best” to take advantage of someone else, to
benefit at their expense. This is so deceptive. No one truly benefits, except
Satan.
·
Love to swear falsely - “Love”
is about the thrill of deception – the con of believability where there is
none. When it reaches the point of loving what we know is wrong, our souls have
been contaminated.
“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel,
“and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his
garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So
guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. Malachi 2:16
·
Divorce – This
isn’t just about marriage. Honoring the sanctity of commitment matters. Not
only does it encourage us to put the other person first, it also provides
important safeguards for us as well. Choosing to care even when feelings wane
makes us stronger. Failing to committed and trustworthy hurts everyone
involved.
·
Covers himself with violence - Choosing an identity of power, intimidation and control is
simply a cover-up for what we know is wrong about ourselves, but refuse to
change.
The point is: God hates each and every attitude, agenda
and action that hurts those He loves.
Why? Because HE LOVES US! Hate takes love to the extreme. The godly response to hate is to take love
even further. God ALWAYS responds with
greater act of love.
But God demonstrates His own
love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
His response is ALWAYS grace.
Glory and grace are our safeguards regarding hate as well.
They guarantee our response is godly regardless the situation or the response
of others. These safeguards protect not
only us personally, but others, even God.
Key is making sure that our lives are anchored in a core love for God
(glory) and for others (grace).
One of the teachers of the law came and
heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked
him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is
this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with
all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There
is no commandment greater than these.” Mark
12:28-31
We are wired to love ourselves.
What we love, we value; what we value, we take care of. We have to love ourselves to see our
worth. However, it is important that
self-love does not get out of balance. Lack of love results in neglect,
demeaning, even destruction; too much, we live for self – “I” become our god.
The challenge is to love others AS we love ourselves, and to love God most of
all. More often than not, this requires choice over feelings. That means choosing to prioritize what
glorifies God and manifests His attributes, and de-prioritizing the natural,
sometimes even overpowering and controlling feelings.
Amos 5:15 simply says, “Hate
evil, love good!” Choice is obviously involved. We should hate what God
hates because we love whom He loves.
The question is: Do we really hate the things God hates? How can you
tell? The answer is: by our response.
Basically there are three: apathy, arrogance or active change.
·
What would each of these look like, if
we recognize these things God hates in our own lives?
a)
Apathy: I
don’t care - usually because my c’s (comfort, convenience and control) are nicely
intact. There is no desire or effort
made to change despite the fact we recognize God is displeased.
b)
Arrogance: All I have to do is justify why I feel the way I feel, have the
opinion I have, respond any way I want.
It is a choice to put self before God in this matter. To be god in this
situation.
c)
Acts of change: Out of love for God, others and self, and in
partnership with Christ, I willingly take the steps of changing regardless the
cost. Because I identify them as hated
by God, there is a commitment to be done with them. (1 Peter 4:1 NIV) It is deciding that since God hates this, I am
not going there!
·
What would each of these look like, if
we recognize these things God hates in others lives?
a)
Apathy: I
don’t care – it is their life.
We need to recognize that when we don’t care
what they are doing indicates that we really don’t care about them.
b)
Arrogance: It shows up as judging. It can
also show up as hatred.
c)
Acts of change: Out of love for God and them, we get
involved. First and foremost through
intercessory prayer, then if and as directed by the Holy Spirit, we willingly
become instruments of change in their lives: usually speaking truth with love
and interactions defined by “salty grace.”
Like God, our response to what we hate ALWAYS needs to be greater acts
of love regardless the cost. God NEVER responds with hatred or hatefulness,
even towards those who blatantly choose to hate Him or those He loves. If
we are going to consistently respond like Jesus, we need to know the difference
between hate and hatred: hate is directed at WHAT; hatred is directed at WHO.
Hatred is subtle and scary. Proverbs 26:26 states that “hatred covers itself with guile.” The guile or deception of hatred is that an
extreme negative, hurtful response is justified. Hatred is often a justified
attitude of justified love. What may
have started with a godly response of protective anger has been taken to an
extreme and made into a weapon.
Go ahead and be angry. You
do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t
stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Ephesians
4:26 MSG
Hatred has a distorted sense of responsibility. It believes that this is mine to
protect. It can flow out of devotion and
a sense of responsibility, but quickly becomes about pride and power. It can
even be applied to God as we pride-fully assume it is our duty to defend and
protect God. He doesn’t need us nor ask
us to hate those who hate Him. A loving
God is never honored or glorified by hatefulness. Remember: hate what He
hates out of love for all whom He loves.
When hate becomes personal or personified, it will never be godly and
can quickly grow into god-less hatred.
This distorted sense of responsibility can also lead
to fear based hatred where I believe I am responsible to protect what I
love most, but also know I do not have the means to do so. My inadequacy only increases
their and my vulnerability. The stronger
the sense of vulnerability and inadequacy, the greater the fear, and the more
intense the hatred directed at self or others whom we deem to be a threat and
increase their/our vulnerability. It is
a vicious cycle. In the process of focusing our hatred on self or others, the
“what” that needs to be changed through greater acts of love is overlooked.
When the response is one of being hateful – whether it
is a thought, look, comment or action – there is a problem. The only thing hatred changes is us – and not
for the good. We have stepped outside of the safeguards of glory and grace into
deception and ungodliness.
The right response is simple: love like Jesus. In partnership with Christ, He will keep our
heart, mind and soul within the safeguards of loving glory and grace. Hatred
and hatefulness will be eliminated. What is rightfully hated has an opportunity
to be radically transformed by love.